"We all live in our own thought-created reality. If we don't think something, it does not enter OUR reality. It doesn't matter if it's "there" or not; the only reality we can see and experience is the reality we create via our own thinking." (Quote by Sydney Banks as shared by Judith Sedgeman)
Recently I read a book by Sally Roony called "Normal People", she won the man booker prize in 2018. Her observation of humanity is inspiring as well as comforting. She says towards the end of the book, "Life is the thing you bring with you inside your own head."
These observations are coming up a great deal around me at the moment. An introduction to mindfulness talked about the three windows, thoughts, senses and emotions. The implications were that all three can trigger each other but emotions actually only last a very short period of time, this meditation class stated a maximum of 3 minutes, suggesting that the emotion whether positive or negative is kept alive but your thoughts. Equally your senses can evoke a thought or an emotion...
In Oct 17, 2017 in an article around the Nuroscience of Emotions, Alice McGurran writes, "Feelings are different from emotions therefore in that they can be rationalised. An emotion happens very quickly; feelings are responses to the environment combined with our thoughts, interpretations, or inner beliefs about the situation. For this reason, our feelings are more manageable than our emotions: we can question our feelings, reflect our thoughts back to ourselves and question their validity."
Understanding more around thoughts and feelings can give you inner confidence that you can manage your own coping mechanisms which frankly seems like an absolute gift to me. Imagine a life with the least stress or anxiety possible.
We often hear about the idea of breathing when we feel upset or counting to 10 so we dont operate or respond in the moment when you feel intense anger. This makes sense with the understanding that an emotion passes and what remains are thoughts and feelings which are more easily controllable when the rational mind has a chance to catch up.
Alice McGurran states, "
Largely, we experience emotions in response to a specific external stimulus, but that isn't always the case. Our thoughts can also trigger emotional responses. If our human brain conjures up a thought, or a memory, of a time we felt shame or anger for example, mammal brain can be triggered into producing a physical emotional reaction. These are feelings. Feelings are different from emotions therefore in that they can be rationalised. An emotion happens very quickly; feelings are responses to the environment combined with our thoughts, interpretations, or inner beliefs about the situation. For this reason, our feelings are more manageable than our emotions: we can question our feelings, reflect our thoughts back to ourselves and question their validity.
Emotions and moods are also distinct. Whereas emotions are rapid-onset, specific responses to specific events that give us information about our current situation, moods are much harder to define. Moods often have a more gradual onset, and it isn't so clear what they are caused by. Moods give us information about our current state of self, our inner system. Unlike emotions, moods are therefore unhelpful when it comes to decision-making. Emotions, as they inform us about our current situation, are vital to the decision-making process. We are often instructed that there is a difference between 'following your head' and 'following your heart', the latter sometimes looked upon as synonymous with being foolish or at least irrational, but suppressing your emotions when decision-making can lead to ongoing indecision. Refusing to listen to what your emotions are telling you can leave you in a stressful state of 'analysis and paralysis', unable to move forward.
We may sometimes think life would be easier if our emotions were more predictable, more peaceful, or simply less pervasive, but they are one of our most important resources and are ultimately here to serve us. "
(Do read the whole article it is fascinating)
We all cope with situations very differently, what we care about and what we find offensive or feel sensitive about is so different for each of us and even different for ourselves caught at different times. Sometimes the same gesture or sentence given with the same tone can cause tremendous grief one day yet have no emotional response another.
At the end of a yoga session last week, whilst I was lying down in Savasana, (During this pose, you close your eyes, breathe naturally, and practice eliminating tension from the body, a few minutes of Savasana is said to have powerful benefits) and we were read this piece by Syd Banks, which I loved.
"An idea or concept comes from the human thoughts system.
A human idea.
It's a belief.
A belief, a concept, an idea is not Truth.
Truth comes from within.
It comes from within you and that is the most important thing in the world to remember.
Truth is not outside.
Truth lies within.
That is why all the wise from the past have always said: "Look within for the answer" or the mystic might say "Look inside".
A wise person might say that you have to go to your heart to find your truth. They are not meaning your physical heart. They are meaning the very essence of your soul. That's where the answers lie.
We are all divine little beings walking around with the answer."
This reminds me of a coaching method I work with through the Thinking Environment set up by Nancy Kline. "The quality of everything we do depends on the quality of the thinking we do first.
The quality of our thinking depends on the way we treat each other while we are thinking."
The singular purpose of thinking sessions between people is to help generate peoples best independent thinking and make conscious progress, in your own unique way. In my experience a client using this method is very likely to take action after the session as the Thinking is generate from them rather than a "you should, you could..." culture. It's an enpowering experience to encourage your own abaility to think for yourself and continues far beyond the session.
Take heed of your instincts, and believe in who you are. You always know what the best is for you, do not be afraid of your Truth. You will undoubtedly live your best life if you take heed and follow it.